Sunday, December 02, 2007


I don't think that I'm actually bipolar, but there are definite times in my life where I am healthy, peppy, highly effective, and interesting. These periods can stretch for months or years, and then they are inevitably followed by periods where I am sick, dull, touchy, and hide in my house a lot.

I had an interesting conversation with a mentor of mine once, where she talked about being 'just busy enough to be effective'. If there is too much going on, it all breaks down. If there is too little going on, she can't get anything done. But once there are enough things on the plate, it all hums along, everything gets done, and new energy and new ideas get created by all the things that are happening.

I'm having a good period right now. Of course, I do still work at the little Library branch with the big heart, where nice people get nicer and nasty people find that their edges have been smoothed down considerably by the atmosphere. Don't know if it's the big windows or the great staff team. Do know that either way, it's good for the soul to work there.

This year, I should be going mad instead of having a happy roller coaster ride. I'm supervising a busy branch, I'm spending all my off-hours keeping our local preschool from going belly-up (again with a small but fantastic team of helpers), and I just finished off an exciting round of being on the union's negotiations committee.

And yet, I'm remarkably unravaged by all the demands. Perhaps it's the vats of Vitamin B and D I'm consuming. Or maybe I should knock on wood and wait for the descent into despair. Ole.


Anonymous Carmi said...

Hey there, Gwen. I hope you're having a good new year so far, and hope you'll chime in soon on your blog. Blogland needs your voice, after all.

You raise a really valid point here. Two, actually. First, balance is all. Sometimes I wish I had more control over the trajectory of my life. I often feel as if my workload results from the actions of others, and that there's little I can do to limit it. That'll change soon, I hope.

Second, I think it's human nature to be cyclical. We have up days and down days, up periods and down periods. And as long as we accept that the pendulum will eventually swing back, we can lead more or less good, productive lives. What frightens me is when I see people who can't accept that some days are going to be gray no matter how hard we try to fight it. Sometimes it's just OK to be a little sad.

At least that's what I tell myself when I have trouble smiling.

1:54 pm  

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