I Stop for Vegetarians

My son - the Sprout - is very chatty. He has always been very chatty. Lately, he's amusing me more than usual.

The other day, he was biking on the sidewalk and I was walking alongside.

Him, apropos of nothing: "Mama, I ALWAYS stop for vegetarians."

Me: "Um, can you say that again?"

Him: "I always stop for vegetarians."

Me: "And what's a 'vegetarian'?"

Him, scoffing at my ignorance: "A person without a bike, didn't you know that??"

Me: "That's a pedestrian, dear."

Him: "Oh."

***

And then again a week later, I'm reading the morning newspaper and he stumbles into the dining room, sleepy...

Him: "I'm very blonde in the morning, Mama."

Me, wondering where he learned blonde jokes since we don't talk like that at my house: "Uh, what do you mean by that, Sprout?"

Him: "I'm blonde in the morning. I just don't see very well when I first wake up."

Me: "I think you mean 'blind', don'tcha, sonny boy?"

Five years old is just too good.