The Unfortunate Twait Controversy

I have been having an on-again off-again argument with my husband and my sister about the word 'twat' for years now.

We all know that the word we're talking about sounds like 'cot', 'snot', 'plot', and 'hot', right? So it should, by all rights, be spelled 'T-W-O-T'. That's my opinion. And I'm sticking to it.

But my annoying relatives! Aagghhhh. They insist that 'twot' is spelled 'T-W-A-T' (an argument ludicrously backed up by most dictionaries), and this shakes my faith in all I know about spelling dirty words. (And someone from Lead.r should KNOW how to spell dirty words.)

" 't-w-A-t'??" I wail, incredulous. "No, no, no, that's just all wrong. If it was spelled that way, it would sound like 'cat' or 'hat' or 'bat'! That's just ridiculous!! Or what the heck, why don't we just all say 'twait'??!? That's just as silly!"

Back and forth we go on this, with no resolution. And the result, in terms of daily usage? Now we all say 'twait'. As in, "Ow! That baseball hit me right in the twait!"

And it never fails to amuse on some base level. Unfortunate but true.