Real Reference Questions I Have Heard

"I need information on contortionism, because women like that sort of thing, you know what I mean." [ick.]

And, when presented with the best information at hand, the webpage of the International Contortion Connection (or some such page), he said, "You can't learn to do that! Those people must have been born like that!" Also, "I can't do that! I'd hurt myself!! But I need to know about contortionism, because women like that!" [brrr. ick.]

What is the library squirrel to do in such a situation? The only thing for it: yoga books...