People I'd Like to Meet Someday

Dorothy Parker. Okay, she's dead, but I'd really, really, really like to meet Dorothy Parker. Can one person really be that funny and clever? She was so great. In honour of my sister's degree in Horticulture, let's review that famous sentence by DP: "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think." God she was a good writer.

Leonard Cohen. He's so fabulous. When he came through here about 10 years ago, ladies were throwing roses onto the stage. And there's me in the 20th row: "Roses?!? No one told me we were throwing roses!! I'd throw roses! Got any roses?"

St. Thomas More. What a ballsy dude.

Carol Burnett. "Went with the Wind" was pure genius, don't yout think? The curtain dress. Need I say more.

Robertson Davies. He'd have to be fabulous at a cocktail party (except - oh yeah - he's dead too). His novels are so great because he knew so much about so many different topics. Dense with trivia.

Oooh! Oooh! Almost forgot Edith Piaf!! Can't forget to meet Edith Piaf. (She's dead too.) I read the greatest ridiculous biography of her once, supposedly written by her half-sister Simone. She was so tragique. Boy could she sing.

Nina Simone. (Recently deceased) I'd really like to meet her because she's a great singer too, but she'd probably scare the Schmidt out of me. A bit formidable, our Nina. She'd probably peg me (correctly) as a dilettante of life in about four secs.